Bunions and Nose Hairs and Gas, Oh My!

I used to be afraid of lions and tigers and bears. But my older-and-improved, ever-evolving self now has far more scary issues with which to deal.

Now I’m certainly frightened about a plethora of heavy-duty, big-picture, worldy things of substance, but I declare today Shallow Monday, and will thusly focus on some of the not-deep, superficial stuff.

Like BUNIONS

 

 

Disclaimer: NOT my foot. (I protect mine from all Paparazzi.)

Would not YOU be afraid if your foot looked like that…if you could feel your heart beat in your bunion…if the prospect of surgery loomed LARGE?

One friend has had the surgery, and one will probably go under the knife here very soon, as it’s affecting those other phalanges. Yuk. Yikes. Yep, all those years of teetering around in my pumps has taken its toll. And short of surgery, there’s not a thing I can do about it.

Or is there? If anybody out there knows of a magic bunion-dissolving potion, do tell.

 

In my opinion, one of the other frightening manifestations of aging is the dreaded… NOSE HAIRS.

 

Disclaimer: NOT me, or my nose. (As if I had to clarify.)

(I couldn’t resist putting up this pic of Heidi, as she and I do have some things in common. We both have noses, and I bet you anything she’s got the beginnings of a nose hair growing up there somewhere.)

So, yes, discovering I had nose hairs was another Uh-Oh Moment, very similar to the Uh-Oh Moment when I discovered those two pieces of ‘straw’ growing out of my chin. The good news, though, is that when one is vigilant, one can cut out those fine, ugly nostril hairs fairly easily and quickly.

But I still find it disgusting and annoying and gross.

And perhaps the most terrifying issue facing most all of us today is….GAS!

$$$$$

The price of gas does not discriminate. It does not care what your age, race, religion or political affiliation is. I find it all ridiculous, disturbing, and scary, quite frankly. When will it end?

And unlike bunions and nose hairs, there really isn’t anything we can do about it.

Now wait a minute. Did you think I was going to talk about gas, as in, like, flatulence? No way!

Silly you….

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One Response to Bunions and Nose Hairs and Gas, Oh My!
  1. Krista
    May 21, 2012 | 9:07 pm

    HAHAHA….yep I thought you were going there! I remember the days when we’d be in front of the mirror for hours putting on make up. I’m still in front of the mirror for hours….doing damage control!!! Checking all the areas where the wild things grow. It sure makes it bearable when we can laugh about it. Thanks for the chuckle!!!!!

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About Me

It's true! Despite playing defense virtually all my life against the onslaught of this sometimes-ugly aging process, it...has...arrived! I naively thought I would escape cellulite (the Cottage Cheese) and crow's feet (the Crepe Paper). But I didn't! And why didn't anyone tell me about this emotional roller-coaster that comes with being an Empty-Nester?! My name is Jodie Barringer Myers. I'm a 54-year-old Friday/chardonnay/ hydrangea-loving wife/mom/court reporter living in Sacramento (Gold River!), California. Writing is cathartic for me. And because I look to find humor and humility among the rubble that is my now very peri-menopausal self, I'm hopeful that you will laugh, cry, learn, enjoy and, most of all, relate to what I have to say. After all, we're all in this together, right?

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