Flippin’ Floaters

Okay. So about two weeks ago, as I was minding my own business, preparing my dog’s (Mia!!!) dinner, there suddenly appeared…..”black things” in my right eye. I thought, no big, it’s just a glob of mascara. And then the “black things” started moving all around. So I thought, no big, it’s a black cobweb (why I thought there would be cobwebs, black ones yet,  in my kitchen, I’ll never know). That wasn’t the culprit. Oh, I know what it is: “black things” were stuck under my contact lens. So I took out the old contact lens and put in a new one. But…they  were  still   there!!

So I did what I’m guilty of doing way too often; I Googled “black things moving in your eyes.” And that’s when I learned they’re called floaters, and that it “comes with age,” to “older patients.” SH*T. Another body part bites the dust.

Now I would be remiss here if I didn’t give kudos to my friend Jeff, an optometrist, who I anxiously sought out the next morning at the gym. He smiled knowingly as I went into painstaking (and I’m sure boring) detail as to the events of my previous evening. After telling me alllll about the “refractive index” and the “vitreous humour,” blah-blah-blah, he assured me that it’s normal, that it comes with time, and that it happens to all of us as the years go by. Not one word about AGE or GETTING OLDER. Now how is that for good bedside manner? Thank you, Jeff!

(FYI:  He did ask if I had flashing lights accompanying the “black things.” I learned that that can be cause for concern, as it could be the beginning of a detached retina, which requires immediate medical attention. Serious stuff.)

Anyway…So the floaters are still flippin’ around in my field of my vision, but not as badly. And I won’t freak out if, and probably when, (per Jeff) I get them in my left eye, as I know now that it just comes with time.

Two morals to this story: Don’t freak out if you, too, get floaters!! It’s normal, and you’re not alone. And if you’re ever in the Sacramento area and you need an optometrist, Jeff is your guy.

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About Me

It's true! Despite playing defense virtually all my life against the onslaught of this sometimes-ugly aging process, it...has...arrived! I naively thought I would escape cellulite (the Cottage Cheese) and crow's feet (the Crepe Paper). But I didn't! And why didn't anyone tell me about this emotional roller-coaster that comes with being an Empty-Nester?! My name is Jodie Barringer Myers. I'm a 54-year-old Friday/chardonnay/ hydrangea-loving wife/mom/court reporter living in Sacramento (Gold River!), California. Writing is cathartic for me. And because I look to find humor and humility among the rubble that is my now very peri-menopausal self, I'm hopeful that you will laugh, cry, learn, enjoy and, most of all, relate to what I have to say. After all, we're all in this together, right?

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