I’m Short

Not Danny Devito (Daniella Devita?) short. Or Wizard of Oz munchkin short.  But I’m short compared to, say, Shaq and Giselle.  I’m tall,  though, when standing next to my sweet,  now 4’11” mom. I was, once upon a time,  tall to Cassidy and Julia, when they were three and six, looking up adoringly at me.  :)  

I’m 5’4″ on a good day. No one has ever nor will ever call me statuesque or leggy. The Rockettes have never nor will ever call me for a try-out. I can’t help it that wearing flats makes me look like I’m standing in a hole.  And I confess that I’ve always been envious of ostriches, gazelles and Julianne R., who all possess endless, lithe, long legs.   


But that’s okay. I’m not complaining. I’m thankful for every inch of the 64 inches God gave me.  (Wait. 12 x 5 is…yeah, 64.)

I’m short on some other things these days too. Like…

  • Time ~ Even though I (ostensibly) have more time on my hands since becoming an Empty-Nester, I cannot seem to find much of  it.
  • Estrogen ~ Yep. My “eggs are rotten,” my ovaries are pretty much all shriveled up, and I can now blame my moodiness on the lack of this vital hormone that used to make me pleasant to be around 24/7.
  • Hair follicles  ~  My hair is thinning as we speak.
  • Cash ~ Where-oh-where does it go?
  • Libido ~ “The shop is closed” a lot lately. (Can I blame it in large part on bullets 1 and 2?) I’m sort of temporarily ‘in sexile.’
  • Patience ~ You know when the light turns green, and the driver in the car ahead of you is oblivious, and when he/she finally sees it and takes off, it’s too late for you to get through the intersection? Drives me crazy! (Well, unless I’m the oblivious one.) And I no longer have patience (where once I did) for attorneys who show up at a deposition without their business card.  So irritating…
  • Collagen/Elastin ~ Duh. Come here. Look closely at my face. You can see for yourself. No collagen/elastin = crepe paper. Fact.
  • Life! ~ It’s way too short to fret and worry about all of the things on which I’m short.



One Response to I’m Short
  1. Therese Fowler-Bailey
    August 8, 2012 | 8:18 am

    LOVE THE LONG AND ‘SHORT’ SHORT OF IT ALL! rEALLY REally Love your Creative..honesty!! I Can So relate… Hugs, T.

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About Me

It's true! Despite playing defense virtually all my life against the onslaught of this sometimes-ugly aging process, it...has...arrived! I naively thought I would escape cellulite (the Cottage Cheese) and crow's feet (the Crepe Paper). But I didn't! And why didn't anyone tell me about this emotional roller-coaster that comes with being an Empty-Nester?! My name is Jodie Barringer Myers. I'm a 54-year-old Friday/chardonnay/ hydrangea-loving wife/mom/court reporter living in Sacramento (Gold River!), California. Writing is cathartic for me. And because I look to find humor and humility among the rubble that is my now very peri-menopausal self, I'm hopeful that you will laugh, cry, learn, enjoy and, most of all, relate to what I have to say. After all, we're all in this together, right?

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